Exercise: “Secret Role Models”

What you will get out of this

Before, we listed out and examined the role models whom we admire. Now, we’ll repeat those steps for the role models whom we secretly admire. Being honest about who we secretly admire is important to uncover the beliefs that are emotionally and intuitively intriguing to us, which our rational brains may censor.

This exercise helps us identify what truly intrigues us by exploring the role models that we secretly admire when no one else is around to judge us – not even ourselves.

An example of this exercise at work

Step 1: Unmasking Your Covert Admiration

Feel free to look back at your response to Chapter 3, Exercise: “Role Models”

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Previously, you've listed five individuals who openly inspire you. Now, let's gently nudge your hidden admirations into the spotlight. Identify five people in your life that you quietly admire. Who stirs a secret admiration in you? Who stirs up inspiration in the silence of your heart? Who earns your respect away from the public eye?

For each person, share a few lines: What traits do these quietly admired figures possess that you secretly aspire to embody?

Now, it's time to draw a comparison between those you openly admire and those you admire in secret, as outlined in Chapter 3. What personal strengths or qualities do the openly admired individuals lack that your covert role models possess? These are exciting values that are worth your exploration.

Step 2: Unveiling the Inspirational Souls from the Past

Feel free to look back at your response to Chapter 3, Exercise: “Role Models”

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Previously, you've identified five figures from history you wish you could have met. Now, let's change the lens a little and identify five historical figures with whom you wish you could have formed a deep, meaningful friendship. Who stirs up inspiration? Who would you like to really get to know on a personal level? Who would you wish to lean on for guidance and comfort during your life's challenging chapters?

For each historical figure, answer in a few lines: What characteristics or attributes do they possess that you aspire to mirror in yourself? What traits would you like to see in your friends?

Now, compare your list of people you openly wish to meet with those you would wish to form a deep friendship with from Chapter 3. What unique personal strengths or qualities do the latter possess that the former do not? These uncovered values are certainly worth exploring further.