Exercise: “Peer Advice”

What you will get out of this

We often seek the advice of family, friends, and mentors when we feel stuck in life. Advice is attractive because we can easily lean on the wisdom of others. However, people’s advice is based on their unique personal values which may differ from your own. Blindly accepting advice that isn’t compatible with your values is counterproductive.

This exercise helps us take a step back and identify the different beliefs and values underlying the peer advice we receive.

An example of this exercise at work

Step 1: Memorable Wisdom from Others

Think back over the last three months and recall up to five instances where your mentors, family, or friends shared insightful advice with you. This could be advice you asked for, or it may have been offered without solicitation.

For example, perhaps your mom suggested that you step away from the whirlwind of startups and seek out a stable, low-profile role in a large company. This advice came up while discussing your career trajectory during a family visit, against the backdrop of an uncertain economy. Initially, this advice may have sparked anger because your transition from large companies to startups was a pivotal discovery of a work environment that truly resonates with you. However, this piece of advice has stayed with you, as you observe your friends seeming content in their 'coasting' roles in big companies. It's left you wondering whether you didn't fully explore the possibilities large companies might offer.

Step 2: Digging Deeper: The Underlying Beliefs

Now, for each of these memorable pieces of advice, let's dig a little deeper: What are the fundamental beliefs that form the bedrock of this advice?

For instance, your mom's career advice might be rooted in the belief that it's more crucial to minimize risk than it is to chase after the potential for high rewards, encompassing both financial stability and reputation.