Exercise: “Do You Demand Perfection?”

What you will get out of this

One of the subtle ways we get in our own way is by demanding perfection instead of aspiring to it. Striving for perfection is motivating, but feeling like a failure if you miss can lead to you limiting yourself. Recognizing and acknowledging the unhealthy ways we demand perfection from ourselves is the first step to overcoming them.

This exercise helps us take a step back and examine our relationship with perfection.

An example of this exercise at work

Step 1: Do You Expect Perfection From Yourself?

It's common for many of us to aim for excellence or perfection in various aspects of our lives, like work, relationships, ethics, and more. But there's a distinction between aiming for perfection and demanding it. How do you feel if you aim for perfection but fall short? Do you view it as a learning experience, or does it weigh heavily on you as a failure?

Consider the following examples of demanding perfection: “I can't afford to make mistakes,” “I must always gain others' approval,” “I need certainty before deciding,” “I have to maintain control,” “I can't ever be morally wrong.”

Reflect and pen down a few thoughts on how you might have set unrealistic standards of perfection for yourself in the past two months.

Step 2: What Would You Dare to Do if Perfection Wasn't Required?

Take about 5 minutes to jot down things you would try or do if perfection wasn't a prerequisite.

For instance, would you ask someone out, end a relationship, leave your job, propose a startup idea to friends, or audition for a team or club?

Step 3: Reevaluate: Do You Expect Perfection From Yourself?

While perfection and excellence are admirable goals, we often don't have control over all the variables needed to reach them. Do you let the pursuit of perfection hold you back and become an obstacle? Share your thoughts in a few sentences.