Exercise: “Are There Problems You’re Unwilling To Tackle?”

What you will get out of this

One of the subtle ways we get in our own way is by getting hung up on difficult problems that we’re either unwilling to unable to tackle. These problems can become a tremendous drain of time and energy, causing us to stagnate and get in our own way. Recognizing and acknowledging the problems we aren’t willing to have is the first step to unblocking ourselves.

This exercise helps us take a step back and identify the problems in our lives that we’d be better off labeling as circumstances to work around.

An example of this exercise at work

Step 1: Encountering Unsolvable Challenges

Think about the tough challenges you're grappling with in your life right now. These are issues that consume much of your time and energy, but still remain unresolved. Let's take a reflective pause here: among these tough challenges, which ones rely heavily on elements beyond your grasp?

For instance, imagine you're longing for a promotion to CEO in a family-owned company where you're not part of the family. You're trying to convince the current CEO to select you over his son. If you look closely, the decision is beyond your control. Perhaps it's time to consider opportunities in other companies.

Step 2: Facing Challenges You're Avoiding

Next, have an honest dialogue with yourself: “Which of these tough challenges am I not ready to face? Why am I evading them?”

Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves that we can't resolve a problem we're unwilling to face. If we are dealing with a problem we can't or won't work on, it's more beneficial to accept these as circumstances beyond our control.

For instance, you might be feeling the heat from family and friends to propose to your significant other. But if you're unsure about marriage, even when you have a healthy and comfortable relationship, it's a problem you're not willing to address due to fear of hurting them. Perhaps you need to find other ways to make progress towards your decision without having to break up.

Step 3: Are You Stuck on Unsolvable or Avoided Challenges?

Remember, we can't tackle a problem we're not willing to face. If we label these problems as situations we can't control, the healthiest course of action is to accept and move on. But sometimes, we resist recognizing these challenges as uncontrollable circumstances, and we end up blocking our own way trying to wrestle with them.

Now that you've pondered on these tough challenges in your life, do you think you're blocking your own path by not acknowledging the uncontrollable ones? Take a moment and pen down your thoughts.

Problems you’re unable to solve

Problems you’re unwilling to work on